"THE FIRST DAY I DID NOT THINK IT WAS FUNNY"

The first day I did not think it was funny. I didn't think it was funny the third day either, but I managed to make a little joke about it. "The most unfair thing about this whole business," I said, "is that I can't even date." Well, you had to be there, as they say, because when I put it down on paper it doesn't sound funny. But what made it funny (trust me) is the word 'date,' which when you say it out loud at the end of a sentence has a wonderful teenage quality, and since I am not a teenager (okay, I'm thirty-eight), and since the reason I was hardly in a position to date on first learning that my second husband had taken a lover was that I was seven months pregnant, I got a laugh on it... 

So begins Nora Ephron's book Heartburn. I read the book before I saw the movie. In fact, when I saw the previews for the 1986 movie, I decided to read the book first. After all these years, and after reading hundreds of books, that beginning remains the best beginning I have ever read. 

"Heartburn" was based on her marriage to Carl Bernstein, whom she described in the book as a man  "capable of having sex with a Venetian blind."  (I've often wondered if that boosted Carl's love life?) Nora is Rachel Samstat in the book (played by Meryl Streep in the movie) and Carl is Mark Forman (Jack Nicholson).

When Rachel confided in her friend, Julie, that Mark was cheating on her, Julie tells Rachael how she coped with her own husband's infidelity: "Every time he got on a plane, I would imagine the plane crash, and the funeral . . . and flirting at the funeral, and how soon I could start dating after the funeral..." I wonder if that's a true quote from one of Nora's friends or another great bit of writing? 

The Net is loaded with Nora Ephron articles about her life. She was a staunch Leftie whose anti-Right jabs have generated lots of bitter comments from conservatives. I'm a conservative, and while I hate her politics, I still love her writing. She was a talented writer who has been one of my inspirations. I prefer to avoid and/or overlook her political barbs -- there aren't that many in what I've read -- and enjoy her stories. Nora Ephron was that good a writer.

My sympathies to her family, especially Nicholas Pileggi, with whom she found true happiness. I doubt he's thinking of flirting at the funeral.

...

Take Two...

In this interview, Nora Ephron talks about how her parents didn't want to hear her "sad story." They told her, "Everything is copy. Everything is material,"  which she incorporated later into "Heartburn":

Arthur Siegal (Richard Masur): What can I say? I've always been terrible with colors. It comes from having grown up with the single-row box of crayons, instead of the big box. If I had had the big box, I would now know taupe and cerise and ecru. Instead, all I know is burnt sienna.
 Mark Forman (Jack Nicholson): I think there's a column in this.
 Arthur: Oh, God, Forman, every time I say something, it ends up in your column.

...


Take Three...

John Podhortz remembers Nora with Nora Ephron: A great NY dame: Nora Ephron, who died last night at the age of 71, may have been the quintessential Manhattanite of her time. The island was her muse, and she its great romanticizer.

...

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO D.C.

That's Congressman Eric Massa (D - NY). He's from Corning, NY, and was our representative here in NYS's 29th district from January 2009 until he resigned in utter disgrace in March 2010. 

I was reminded of Massa yesterday when Rush referenced a new study which concluded electric cars may be more harmful than gasoline cars. 

Eric Massa putting HR 676 on the front burner. Eric Massa made a name for himself by carrying a dogeared copy of the then healthcare bill and claiming he was the only member who had read the massive bill from cover to cover. Within less than a week of being sworn in as our new Congressman, he proudly informed Rep. John Conyers that he will co-sponsor HR676.  

But I'll bet you had forgotten all that. I'll bet other things come to mind when you think of Eric Massa , things like tickle parties, "Massa massages," "inappropriate" behavior, and men accusing Massa of sexual harassment:

"He wakes up to Massa undoing his pants trying to snorkel him," Clarke said, adding no one complained for fear of retaliation.

          {snip}

"The harassment is probably much worse than we've heard," Sloan said, noting how quick Democratic leaders were to demand he leave.

He was given the entire hour on Glenn Beck's TV show on March 9, 2010, the day after he resigned. Beck had hyped the show after having met with Massa, believing Massa would talk about the corruption in DC. Instead, Massa, who sounded and looked remarkably like Joe Pesci's character in My Cousin Vinny, played the sympathy card saying how he couldn't fight the White House, the Democratic Party, the ethics charges and cancer simultaneously. All of which caused Beck to say: I think this is the first time I have wasted an hour of your time.

But back to that picture. It was taken the day Massa was driving to DC for his swearing in ceremony. Being the good Progressive that he is, and realizing a fabulous photo opportunity, he announced he would drive a Chevrolet Equinox Fuel Cell vehicle to DC to be sworn in. Except there was a problem:

“The range of the Equinox Fuel Cell vehicle is about 200 miles, according to G.M., and the distance from Corning to Washington is roughly 280 miles, which means Mr. Massa would have had to refill the tank with hydrogen somewhere along the way — but there are no hydrogen stations on the most direct route from Corning to Washington.

The solution: two Equinoxes.Carolyn Markey, a G.M. spokeswoman, said Mr. Massa drove one Equinox from Corning to Harrisburg, Pa., where a second Equinox was waiting for him. He then drove it to Washington, where the above photo was snapped.In order to deliver and retrieve the Equinox Fuel Cell vehicles, Ms. Markey said, two Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid S.U.V.’s were used as tow vehicles: one to tow the first Equinox back up to Honeoye Falls, and another to tow the second Equinox, which originated in Washington, up to Harrisburg for the trip back down. So essentially, the entire 280-mile trip was also made by a Tahoe Hybrid, which gets about 20 miles a gallon on the highway. Towing another S.U.V. lowers that gas mileage.”

If only it was a parody and not real.

You knew this would happen:  someone gave that picture a new caption. Instead of becoming a champion for single-payer healthcare (which I oppose), Eric Massa became a dirty joke. I think there are a lot of dirty jokes in DC -- on both sides of the aisle. 

***

> Speak of the devil...  

Member Of Education Establishment: Parents Don't Know What's Best For Their Children

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